I am surrounded by yogis and yoginis, and also great friends who don't subscribe to yoga, but to some other path of spiritual and personal growth. Friends and students and, of course, me; who do things like meditate, exercise, garden and compost, eat organic foods - and who drink little to never. Who know the power of connecting to the earth and connecting to the Light -- in equal measure.
Friends who 'walk the path consciously' and look for how they create their own circumstances, 'co-create' is the word these days, who take responsibility for their choices and who truly wish to find their voice and serve in whatever capacity God, The Universe, The Greater Good would have them do.
Trying very hard and persistently - and succeeding as well, some of the time - in finding that Higher Self voice, the place where it's all cool; and every experience is part of the picture, the voice that elevates us out of feeling small and contracted, alone and inadequate,
Why is it so hard for us to maintain that perspective?
Why must we dip into the icy, dark waters of forgetting our Mighty Light? Of believing even for a moment that we are not loved and guided and that there isn't Great Big Meaning behind the hurt and the pain that get invoked time and again by circumstances that, yes, we attract into our lives to figure out a better way to deal with them than we did when we were 5 years old.
I don't know the ultimate answer of course (what earthling does?) but I know that for me, being flung into darkness and doubt on a semi-regular basis is how I have developed my now fairly dependable "see-the-Light-shine-in-the-darkness' capacity. It is how I can stay grounded enough in my 'Observer' to recognize what is going on with the part of me that identifies completely with the 'soft animal of my body' and my present circumstances (better known as my ego, I suppose).
I also know deeply, from personal experience, that community is crucial. That the friend I dragged out of a dark perspective yesterday is ready to do the same for me today.
That I wouldn't learn to swim toward to Light when I feel that I am drowning unless I got plunged into the Dark waters enough to practice, practice, practice. That coming back to my own Light again and again, is how I have come to trust that the Light does indeed Shine in the Darkness, and that the Darkness, indeed, has not overcome it.
15 years ago, my now ex-husband told me, and I have no idea where he got this idea, that reciting the first 14 verses of St John's Gospel daily could not, not transform a person completely. That's how he said it; not, not. So I memorized it at the time, we both did. It's interesting that we have grown so far apart and yet, he is another person in town who has that memorized.
Reciting John has become a remedy, a pathway out of the Darkness for me. It's powerful stuff. Sometimes these verses just pour through me when anxiety and fear creeps in. Before I am even consciously aware of it, these words just spread within like Golden Light.
There are many versions, here is the one I memorized. Maybe you want to try it sometimes when you feel lost and lonely and all small and contracted into dualism.
Maybe it will help you remember that the Light shines in the Darkness and that the darkness has not over come it. Here it is.
In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God
He was in the beginning with God and through Him were all things made
Without Him was not anything made that was made
In Him was Light and His Light was the Light of men
The Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.
There came a man sent from God his name was John
He came as a Witness to bear Witness to the Light that all might believe though Him
He himself was not the Light but came to bear Witness to the Light.
The True Light that enlightens every man was coming into the world
He was already in the World but the World knew Him not
He came to His own people but his own people received Him not
But to all who received Him and believed in His Name
He gave power to become children of God
Not born of the blood, nor the will of the flesh, nor the will of man but of God
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us and we beheld His Glory
Such Glory as of the only begotten Son of the Father full of Grace and Truth