30 years ago I decided not to drink alcohol. I was 19 and still lived in my native Denmark. I wasn’t addicted but I was becoming a Yogi. I noticed that alcohol was a pretty extreme interference with my meditation practice. My precious intuitive capacities that I had taken for granted since early childhood shut down with the use of alcohol. I never had an external teacher suggest I not drink, in fact several of my early Buddhist teachers did drink on occasion. But my inner voice told me that I am someone who cannot mix alcohol with a genuine spiritual practice.
This was an unusual decision back in 1989. I received a lot of flack from friends and family for saying no to alcohol which is a pretty ingrained part of Danish socializing. People assumed I must be in recovery. Which is fine but not true. Later in life I even had a swami tell me to just go ahead and twirl a glass of wine at dinner parties so as not to draw attention to my not drinking. I found that advice in-authentic.
Now, 30 years later things are finally shifting. Many friends and students of mine are starting to speak up about the negative impact of alcohol on their spiritual practice, their bodies and their capacity to deal with feelings and emotions. I never tell my students not to drink but I do tell them to pay attention. Pay attention when that urge to have a cocktail arises. What is going on within you? What are the feelings or maybe anxieties that are arising that you don’t want to embrace and process? In my experience, the very thing that I want to avoid feeling, is the sacred portal into a deeper relationship with myself. A profound sense of unconditional love and compassion for self which is ultimately the only way to heal the unpleasant feelings that live as stagnant energy within.
This weekend I will start my ninth cohort of teacher training students. This will be a subject that will be discussed. To notice and witness all the intricate ways that we use to run away from how we truly feel. When we cannot embrace ourselves with unconditional love, we cannot hope that someone else will embrace us with unconditional love. But although I don't think it's helpful to be preachy (I truly believe that the decision to say goodbye to alcohol is a deeply personal one), I do encourage anyone who will listen to wait. Wait 5 minutes, maybe 10 from the moment the urge to drink (or numb out in some other way) arises until you have that drink. There is magic in that moment. It's a doorway and if you become still and feel yourself, listen to yourself, something deeply vulnerable is likely trying to speak to you. Asking for your attention. Begging for your embrace. Are you perhaps a little bit scared or anxious? Are you angry or sad? Could it be that you are emotionally uncomfortable in some way? Let that be ok, if even for a just a little tiny bit. Hold and honor that place in yourself. Be with that place in yourself. Love that not cool, not confident, not self-assured part of yourself with deep compassion.
Then ask yourself: if a small child came to me and felt these feelings would I embrace this child with love and compassion or would I tell them to have a drink so as not to feel?
Allowing feelings to be felt — so they can be healed, is the doorway to true, lasting healing. Join me for a yoga teacher training that will address feelings at the root level which is the only real way to find peace within — then help others make the sacred journey into self-love and self-compassion.
Copyright © 2013 www.mariatoso.com