How to Stop Emotional Triggers from draining our energy & complicating our relationships
One moment, you’re fine. The next, your chest is tight, your breathing is shallow, and it feels like you just ran too fast—only you haven’t moved at all. You were just sitting there when someone did that thing they always do, and suddenly, a cascade of physiological symptoms takes over.
What just happened?
More often than not, nothing catastrophic actually occurred—except within the energy field of your body. Something inside you was reminded of a past experience, likely an old and unresolved one.
Something that scared you.
Something that made you feel small, unsafe, unloved, and as though you didn’t belong. This is one of the most painful vibrational states a human can experience, yet we rarely talk about it.
Why? Because no one wants to feel like a vulnerable, trembling child trapped in an adult body.
So, we suppress that small voice inside—the one crying out for safety, reassurance, and holding. And each of us has our own habitual way of coping when we get emotionally triggered:
Lashing out – Demanding the other person change immediately so we never have to feel this way again.
Numbing out – Reaching for cocktails, food, screens, or other distractions.
Checking out – Shutting down, disconnecting, walking away.
But all of these responses are just outs.
The only true way to heal is to go in.
The Abandoned Parts of Ourselves
Buried deep within us are hollow places—energetic wounds where we once abandoned ourselves. These wounds formed when we were too young and defenseless to understand why we felt unloved or unsafe.
We internalized these moments as proof that a part of us was unworthy, and so we pushed that part away, stowing it in the subconscious, never to be acknowledged again.
But as long as these wounds remain unconscious and unhealed, they control us.
They manifest as anxiety, fear, or relationship struggles. We walk through life never knowing when we might be triggered again, only to find ourselves stuck in the same emotional pain, over and over.
In yoga, we call these energetic imprints Samskaras—the unresolved emotional scars that shape our perception of life.
Samskaras act like landmines in our relationships, buried just beneath the surface. We do our best to ignore them, but inevitably, someone steps on one, and—boom—emotional reactivity takes over.
Even more frustrating? We unconsciously attract people and situations that highlight these wounds, drawing us into the same painful patterns time and again.
The Path to Healing
But there is another way. We don’t have to remain trapped in this cycle. Healing is always within reach—it simply requires courage.
The word courage comes from the French word cœur, meaning heart (which, interestingly, sounds a lot like cure).
Healing takes the courage to love what hurts the most.
How do we do that?
We become present.
Instead of shoving our pain into the basement of our subconscious, we do the opposite—we turn toward it.
The next time you feel triggered—when he says that thing, when she texts that thing, or worse, when they don’t respond at all—pause.
Breathe.
Rather than reacting, numbing, or shutting down, bring your awareness inward.
Where do you feel it? Your stomach? Chest? Throat?
What does it feel like? Tight? Heavy? Hot?
If it had a shape or color, what would it be?
How old is this feeling? When have you felt it before?
Let it speak to you. Let it show you other times in your life when this feeling overwhelmed you.
Now, instead of rejecting this part of yourself, hold it with presence and love.
That younger version of you—the one who was scared, hurt, or left behind—needs you now. Be with yourself the way no one else could.
This is how we heal.
Hold the discomfort as long as you can. Breathe through it. Tears are okay. Then, when you’re ready, let it go.
This moment of presence—this act of self-love—is the beginning of your transformation.
The Power of Presence
When you cultivate presence, something profound happens:
No one can ever make you feel alone again—because you’ve got you now.
Your loving awareness becomes your anchor, your safety, your unwavering companion.
Presence is your link to the divine. It is the very essence of healing.
From now on, it gets better.
Just breathe.